Tuesday, February 16, 2016

An Update On My Life

It’s been just over three months since I started blogging (okay, three months and a day) and I wanted to post an update. When I started this blog, I was underemployed, we’re talking 16 hours a week. I was taking home about $143 a week and was pretty miserable. But I had a plan to get healthy (and happy.) I’ve had a lot of ups and downs and things have really changed in the last three months.

The biggest change is that now instead of being underemployed, I have two jobs. One of which is full time. I’m working seven days a week and making a lot more money. And while that’s great for my bank, it’s not so great for my health. I’m feeling incredibly sleep-deprived and we’ve been eating way too much take out and fast food.

I hit a pretty hard low when I hit my all-time highest weight of 394 pounds. That is simultaneously insane and scary. I vowed I would never see my weight begin with a 4 and I’m dangerously close. I know that what I’m eating isn’t good for me, but it’s been really hard because I don’t control the food purchases. Until recently, I didn’t have two pennies to rub together and couldn’t buy my own food. But even with the extra money, it’s been hard.

I also found out shortly after starting my blog that I am pre-diabetic. This does nothing but make me feel like I’m failing though. I’ve been to one appointment with a dietitian and had to cancel (reschedule…?) the second appointment I was supposed to go to yesterday. The problem now is that I’m unavailable until 6pm. Who is open at 6pm for doctor appointments? And I’ve just started my job, not to mention they have a “no time off” policy in their busy season. Which is right now.

I wasn’t really sure if I was going to talk about this, but I’m also seeing a counselor. He’s been incredible, and I’m glad I started counseling again, but he got an amazing opportunity that he couldn’t pass up. I don’t blame him, not even a tiny bit. But this means he’s not going to be here, so we’re working on finding me a new counselor. I have faith he’ll find a good fit for me.

With the counseling, I’ve been feeling a bit better. But not nearly enough to say I’m happy. Living with my sister and her kids is challenging. And my health isn’t as much of a priority as it should be. But I’m working on figuring out a way for all four of us to work together on meeting healthy goals. Lord knows I’m not the only one in the family that needs to get healthy.

So for now, I’m taking it one day at a time. I’m hoping I can implement some ideas I’ve been working on and I’m hoping that when I get my car (around May) I can maybe get outside more. It’s also winter and I live in New England. In the last few weeks we’ve had snow at least once a week, but last week we saw snow almost every day. It’s fucking cold. I never want to be outside in the winter.

Here’s to me getting my shit together. Give me suggestions in the comments below, please! I definitely need them....


  1. Oh girlfriend, sometimes it feels like a vicious circle and life is throwing everything in the way to keep us from getting to our goals. Stay strong. I think you're extremely brave for being open with your struggles and hope that you find some relief in some way soon.

    1. Thank you, I needed that. It starts to get close to impossible to be sure you can make it through these crazy patches.